Erragadda Finally

Sounds crazy , but I have been waiting for my psychiatry posting since day 1 .

Its safe to say that Osmania ward work made me go crazy that I landed up in mental hospital. 😜

A night duty followed by roster Ghich-Ghich with  co-interns , I retire to bed at 6AM .At 8:15 AM , my mother tries her best to wake me up but of no use. Finally , she uses the term , Maria ... Utho Erragadda Jaana hai ! I open my eyes with a wide smile and rush to freshen up with a beaming face. 

Firstly , because I have never been to the place before . Secondly , the love for psychology (not psychiatry) . Then the eagerness to visit the Prisoner Ward .  All this gives the adrenaline rush to go . No breakfast , nothing! Just the place ! Like a kid , I hurried .

The nature was in favour . Well, not finding traffic on Banjara Hills at 9AM is a sign that things are going to be awesome!

So , yes I enter the Institute of Mental Science after taking directions from fellow intern , who sarcastically remarks ... Joining mental hospital finally? I gush ... Yes , Yes! 

The place was a treat to eyes . The green part popping out because of the recent drizzles and chilled out buffaloes moving around . Away from the yuckiness of OGH , the entrance itself was so welcoming. 

My friend had just then told me , 3rd unit there is nice! After reporting there , I get unit 3 ( Yaaay!)

With a fellow intern , I roam clueless in the outpatient ward . Looking at the Out patients and their attenders , I think to myself ... Ye log poore pagal honge? Dikhre to nahi... 

My idea of mental hospital was people screaming , talking to themselves , weeping. But this OPD looked like any other OPD.

Finally we go inside , find PGs. Join them. 

The first case I join it half way. It was basically a priest , who wanted to stop drinking because of his deteriorating health. With deep yellow sclera he looks at me for a while and continues. He seemed normal (typical aggressive alcoholic 😋) to me until the PG asked him , your wife says you see somebody and talk to him. With my eyes wide open I looked at him from top to bottom , left to right. 

He blatantly refused and explained , I am a common man , who works hard ,wants his family to be happy. I have this bad habit that I want to stop , thats it. The PG asks again. He refused again . Leaves the place.

Second case

A 24 year old man enters (looked like 44 year old ... Trust me!) . A BTech pass out , from a decent family enters with a cheerful face. In a mental hospital , if you see somebody with such behaviour ( Kuch to gadbad hai ! ). I was all geared up to listen to this story , the doctor asked his name ... He told his name , repeated it with one extra noun , repeated it for the third time with two extra nouns. He kept muttering things which I couldnt hear even after concentrating fir the whole while. 

He didn't maintain eye contact , instead looked at the roof floor and everywhere else. So the PG asked him , kya dekhre idhar udhar? Koi hai waha?

Main to chaand dekhra tha. Haha!

Aapka chehra bhi chand ke jesa hai. Chand chamke chum chum. Konsi movie bolo? Aamir khan! 

Had it been any other place I would have rolled on floor laughing! 

I rest my chin on my palm so that I could cover my face ASAP if situations like these arose in future.

His brother said he was good in academics .

 Padh padhke pagal hogaya iney. Pehle aisa dikhta tha. He showed aadhar card ka xerox as a reference😂 ( Come on man! Nobody resembles their Aadhar card picture. Mera khud nai milta ! )

He looks to his brother and says , 

English bollere inloga! Telugu lo matladandi.

PG: aapko hindi nahi aati?

Him:No.

PG:Aap konsi language me baat karre merese .

Merko nai malum. *Starts laughing*

PG:You talk to somebody else your brother told.

Him: Venkatesh bolre ? 

PG: Aap Venkatesh se baat karte?

him: Hau. Nai malum?

PG: Kon Venkatesh?

Him: Uske bawa ka beta Venkatesh ji.

Arey madam , une movie star ke baare me bolra ! his brother quipped.

Iney ammi ke peeche gala kaatne aara tha ! 

Meanwhile ,my foot got numb so I kind of stretched it . It hit the PGs foot. She almost jumped . She held her breathe and said , Oh its you! I thought it was him.

Aap ammi ko kaiku maarne gaye?

Unse shaadi nai karsakte na ... Isliye.

him:Madam , aapko maardena dil bolra merko ab. 

Pg:Kyun? 

*Starts smiling. *

Him:Aap ko 5 crore milte . Bidar ko chale jao . Khazana lut raha hai waha pe.

Pg:Aapko koi dikhte bole na aap? Yaha hai unu? 

Him: Hau hai na. Waise ye kon hai . Jinnat ya Farishte white kapdo mein? *Points towards junior nurses standing  there.*

*Begins to imitate my expressions*

Suddenly a co intern enters and calls me , stating the assistant is calling us. 

Assistant Professor's room

He asks us about the whereabouts. Next take this case. (Like really!) Then we were like , waat to kese bhi lagni hai . Act like you tried) .We took a vague history and stared back at the professor. 

Diagnosis? , He asked. 

*Are you serious? 10 minutes and diagnosis ? *

Anxiety Disorder ? A co intern asked.

Depression ? I asked.

Depression? Another co intern asked.

What are the core features of depression? And the bombarding went on and on for next 2 hours.

Next PGs came and began to present the cases on by one.  One was a case where a women complained her husband doesn't love her any more . She has begun to boycott events. Gets angry when people talk about her . was thinking her husband has an affair.

Diagnosis: I don't remember what she said 🙈.Delusion I guess.

But the professor was like , this is a personality trait. All women are like that. He asked the attender , he was a double Ph.d. He sarcastically made a comment that *Ghar me to tu 0 hai * He laughed and told she was the same since Day 2 of marriage and that her aggression is only getting worse. Some Valproate and bye !

And yes our class dispersed!