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Lost in the rain forest

Lost in Rain Forest / Mental Hospital

Day 1 was OP . Day 2 were wards .I had no idea where the wards were. Totally lost , I ask the staff there for directions . I see them giggle . One shows me they are towards left , the other shows me right. ( Okay Maria , done for the day. You'll have a tough time finding wards. Be prepared for the worst : I mumbled.) 
 
One staff gives me some direction. Mandir ke paas hai dekho jao. But I could see no Mandir in that rainforest like area. With a baby face I went ahead , I saw a nurse . I thought a her to be a sane soul and asked for help. She agreed . She asked me so many questions. I told her that I wanted to go to the female ward . She wanted more specifications. So , I said Ill ask a friend and tell you. 
My colleague wasn't receiving my call. 
I : call hi nai lagra?
Her: Aise dosto ka to murder hi kardena! 
* I stare at her in disbelief* 
She takes me to a place . I find no known face. 
I call my colleague again. She says some other direction. I slowly escape while this lady is looking elsewhere. Ask another nurse for direction. The nurse calls this girl again and says, doctor ko wards batado . *Packed*
Yes mam! She shouted like a soldier . My heart kinda skipped a beat because this lady was anything but normal. 

Her : Aap doctor hai na? ( I was in my Abaya then.) *I nodded.* Aap itna padhke paagal nai hue?
*I nodded*
I : Are you sure unit 3 is on the other side?
Her: Aap hyderabad ke hai?
I : Haan. Aap?
Her : Haan . Pakki hyderabadi. Urdu me baat karo na phir! Kya english jhaadre!
*I laughed .* 
Aapki smile achi hai .
I : Thank you? * In doubts . *
Her : Keep it up.
Log bolte , Love complicated hai. Aise logo pe MBBS ke books maarna chahiye.
I: Wait , this is a facebook  post.
Her : Yes. Wait , let me guess. Aap facebook pe hai. Aapka naam boliye. Aapki display picture kya hai. Main kesa dhoondu aapko? 
* Blank*
I : miljaatu mai aapko wajeeha type karo .
*NO! nO I won't give her the details . I  said to myself. *
Her way of talking and walking was so masculine that I had to check her out from top to bottom to reconfirm if it was a female nurse. 

Meanwhile , my assistant passes by. Ye sir iska to murder kardena dil bolta! Patients ko itna gussa dilate rehta. 
* I roll my eyes and say damn! Phir se murder  *
While the forest / greener gets denser and denser , I thought to myself . Even if she kills me , people won't get to know about it.
Her : Meri family me sab merko beghairat bolte. Main hostel me hi sukoon me hu. 
Main aapko pagal to nai dikhryu?
I :* Laughs* * Because I could neither say yes nor could I lie! *
Her : Nahi . Such such bolo. 
I : aur kitni door hai , yaha se ? *Better avoid than lie*
Meanwhile , another nurse calls her and asks her to wait. 
Her: iska murder kardena . 
I : kyun kya hua?
Her: Ab iska wait karu mai? 
I : mat karna . Aagey chal! 

As the wards got closer , I felt better. 
The view was fantastic . I thanked her for helping me out *And of course for the psychotic thriller*

I saw my colleagues there and had a sigh of relief.

I brief my colleague briefly about the incident in a minute . We have the girly giggle and back to story listening.

I saw a couple standing there . Honestly , both seemed crazy to me . Both mere talking in whispers . I quietly bent to my colleague and whisper , who the hell is the patient. He laughs and says , The lady . I try to listen hard adjusting my chair . Finally the story begins and ends . *You expect me to type it ? Hell No! 😂*

Next comes a lady with hallucinations that two guys are staring at her. 
Psychiatrist job is so damn difficult , you have to listen to sheer nonsense with so much compassion and sympathy even when you know its not true. Like a masala movie , you have to watch and listen entirely then like a film critic judge it and tell others how to take it.

Next is again a lady whi has fear of closed spaces . She was hardly audible . I tried hard listening . After n number of failed attempts . I turn back to my colleagues . Both reading textbooks in their phones . 

I went nuts seeing that. So did a professor . Whats so interesting in that phone? Tell me also. 
Book sir, He said 
Which book?
Biochemistry sir. 
Which chapter in Biochemistry?
Molecular biology.
Which topic in that?
RNA replication sir.
Oh. Why Biochemistry here. Psychiatry is not important? Is it boring?You get psychiatry  study manual tomorrow. Ill ask questions.
Take this case history , present tomorrow. 

He signs of the paper and leaves . Meanwhile , Sister screams , doctor doctor! All 3 rush. A patient's attender got an episode of fits. Some general management and it got controlled. 

The IMH is so well equipped with the nursing staff. Over - equipped I'd say. The patient :nurse ratio must be 1:20. Its 100:1 in OGH.
I felt like packing their bags and sending them to OGH.

So far so much!
Bye


Comments

  1. Mobile Psych ClinicAugust 31, 2022 at 5:04 PM

    Awesome post, I read an interesting topic here, and I like your style. Thanks a million, and please continue with effective work. Thank you for sharing this blog here. ketamine infusion for depression

    ReplyDelete
  2. MariaOctober 25, 2022 at 5:01 AM

    Thank you so much. Will surely do. It means alot.

    ReplyDelete

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