Skip to main content

ER Diaries: Horny Patient

Hey all,

 Sharing a Rather funny incident today! 
A 20 something girl walked into the ER with 45 something man . Both seemed healthy and fit. I enquired who the patient was.She asked me if Gynaecologist was available. I was replied No, am an ER physician. Tell me your problem . May be I can help you with it if it’s acute ? You won't find a Gynaecologist at this hour.

She starts, See I have itchy vagina. For a few days now. I enquired about the discharge, 
Odour ,Blood and all. All had a negative answer .Meanwhile the man looked like a father figure to her , but you never know . So I asked her who he was. She was burping out anything and everything without hesitation which is VERY RARE irrespective of your race and nationality, whatever be your religion or culture to talk about your personal details in your parents presence.


She continues Whenever I itch I am feeling horny. I thought I heard it wrong, I asked her twice , thrice . HORNY she says loudly. 

Umm.. okay. Before examining my doubt of who the attendant was buzzed . I asked her who he was. 

That’s my DAD ,she said . Don’t worry he can’t hear he is deaf and mute.

My eyes popped out in disbelief. I was surprised and shocked at the same time. I just couldn’t stop laughing at the hilarity of the situation. 

I am sorry , please continue.I said .

I am not a virgin actually. That’s the point of concern ,she said.

Meanwhile The conversation only stretched longer making the male nursing staff curious of what’s gone wrong.

After some reassurance and advice she agreed to leave. I didn’t document anything, neither did I want to charge her. To make the situation funnier , her father shows me their insurance card , insists me to jot down all what I said onto a piece of paper. 

She bugs him to leave stating the issue is solved and they can leave. After a lot of conviction he leaves the ER. 

So far so much!
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Experience Based Co Design : BCT Series XXIX

  "Experience-Based Co-Design" we have all witnessed its essence unknowingly . My family home is the example I can reflect on .Growing up I didn't like how my house was designed. We (the whole extended family) wanted my dad to sell the house . Dad let his architect friend design our house and would not sell his house (for obvious reasons!). Mum had to balance out the situation so she decided to make small changes. So, it was one change idea each year .She would talk to us individually and listen to our perspective and review her sphere of influence and the impact /utility the idea had.For my siblings the colors were not welcoming while I pointed the flooring. Mum wanted the stairs to be personalised. My grandparents wanted certain conveniences around the toilets. It took her about 4-5 years to make the house a home that was acceptable . From color preferences to spatial arrangements, each family member contributed insights. The lovely thing about it was , the keystakehold...
6 comments
Read more

" Consulting a psychiatrist would be a question mark on my spirituality " Said the patient.

Hello everybody  I hope everybody is safe and healthy. it's been a while that I've been receiving lot of patients in the emergency with mental illness ,thought of sharing an incident of its kind. Not sure if its the awareness of mental health these days or the pandemic, I am developing keen interest in patients with mental illness .I try to take an extra effort to make them feel comfortable and try to create an insight of what is happening and offer them options of what all can be done.  Since this it seems like a step towards patient care , I thought I'd share it here as well. This would probably not be the best approach but I welcome any type of constructive criticism , additions or subtraction to my approach because end of the day we are here for best patient care. A 50 years plus old gentleman ,presented to the emergency with the complaints of chest pain radiating to left arm , breathing difficulty, choking sensation in the throat, inability to open his ey...
28 comments
Read more

MRCEM OSCE preparation and resources

Hello people Since I have cleared my OSCE in one go, I feel it's my duty to journal what all I have done to make it work.(humble brag).Thanks to ChatGPT for helping me pile up some humble generic sentence to make this blog wholesome.(Just kidding). The MRCEM OSCE exam is an integral part of the qualification which tests the clinical and communication skills of candidates. For Indian students pursuing this qualification, preparing for the MRCEM OSCE exam may seem daunting. However, with a few tips that helped me sail through fine. The thing that helped me the most is acclimatizing myself to the UK Clinical Setting Before appearing for the MRCEM OSCE exam, it is imperative for Indian students to understand the clinical setting in the UK. Sometimes , all they want to see is how you behave , your body language, your tone , and your organising skills. Diagnosis is not a critical thing here. You will not fail if you get a wrong diagnosis provided that you have done it systematically. So ...
2 comments
Read more