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Confessions of a Crash doctor

Heyyyy people
Confession pages , posts are always entertaining! 
*Disclaimer: All the points written below are in a positive sense of wit , clumsiness and exaggeration. Don't take it seriously. 
Crash area in emergency medicine is the resuscitation area , where the sickest patient is wheeled in. If you have a team of emergency physician , a crash doctor js designated based on experience and exposure to stabilize sick patient.These are high priority cases.

Now that you have a background... Let the rant begin.
Its been around 9 months that I've been continuously handling crash . So , let the rant begin.
1. We are the most no-nonsense people.

2. Trust handover blood pressure like you trust politicians promise.

3. One day makes you feel the best person in the whole world , next day you feel like a ruthless beast.

4. One day you feel like Sherlock Holmes who has solved a mystery , the other day its supandi time.

5. Ordering things and getting them done are two different things.

6. You are the ANGRY WOMAN on the block.
7. You counsel about death more often.

8 . Discharge? Discharge home from crash? Hahaha?

9. Don't wait for specialists, try your own tools.

10. Don't wait for transport department, move your own patient.

11. Intubation and Lines are biryanis and gajar ka halwa of the day. They light up your mood like nothing else!
12. Fighting with consultant - Everyday chores.

13. Listening to B.S. from other departments of how ER spoilt their tentative plan and abusing them in the head with a big smile on the face.

14. Any help is a good help.

15. Junior who helps you in crash becomes the apple of the eye in no time.
16. Yes , we're always hungry. 

17. We don't give a damn about others opinion.

18.  Counseling people of end stage diseases brought in cardiac arrest is most difficult task.

19. You get the damn attitude to argue with anybody for your patient.

20. One day no crash - Starvation. One week no crash - famine . One month no crash  - ok bye.
21. Miss one thing and feel miserable about it all night.

22. One missed procedure - 10 flashbacks , 15 reasons why ...

23. Letting somebody else do the procedure feels like giving away apart of your body.
24. The way staff respond to male and female doctor is different.

25.The way consultants respond to male and female doctor is different.

26. Airway , Breathing, circulation and shift to the next unit.

27. Nothing saves your ass like documentation, smart documentation. Take a little effort and you're there.

28. No specialist is your friend . 
29. You're not awesome if your procedure is successful. You ain't aweful if your procedure fails.

30. Having a good nap before shift is mandatory, otherwise be prepared to do half minded things.
 
31. Gloves in pocket always saves life!

32. Check the equipment yourself before the procedure. People will reassure you that they have. You're irreplaceable. Do it yourself.
33. Always have a back-up.

34. Shifting hemodynamically unstable to Xrays CT is swimming in the 🦈 shark tank! 

35. Handover crash cases will trouble you more.

36. Any Phone call is annoying. I've NEVER received a call that was soothing on shift. I personally hate personal phone calls on shift whomever it is from.
37. Waiting for labs is like waiting for postman from 1990s.

38. Waiting for blood is like waiting for main course at restaurants. You have to ask multiple times , fight , shout. When you get it , you're calm.
39 . Running for a polytrauma case is like running like your house is on fire.

40. Nobody gets your back like your own team and department does.

41. You're forever dehydrated .

42. Everybody goes bonkos during a code however trained they may be.

43. Handling families and trying to make them understand the final outcome of CPR is TOUGH because nobody wants to let go if there is tiniest possibility.

44. It takes one to two minutes of target history taking  to save airway breathing and circulation.

45. Unresponsive patient is like a angry girlfriend, you have to find out yourself what's gone wrong. Have low threshold of suspicion. The family won't tell you the complete truth.

46. Don't shy away from investigation. Demand it like it's your kitchen grocery.

47. Personal protective equipment is the key. keep yourself and others around you safe. Special consideration for clumsy people around me. 

48. Every second looks like an hour while you're the compressor.

49. It's the position everybody is envious of! Crash memories are best memories!

50. Read, redo ,repeat. 
Ending the rant here
So far so much.

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