Skip to main content

Types of requests

Hey all today I got to know about the types of requests

  1. Action Request - where you ask someone to do a specific task,go to the store and buy milk or write a 10-page report. 

  2. Connection Request - where you ask someone to do something that will help you connect with them or that will help them connect to you. This usually comes up when one person wants to be heard or understood, or when someone wants to know how another person feels about what he said. 
When needs are general, requests are specific.
Tell me whether you hear a request in the following statement:

1. Wouldn't you like to go bowling tonight? 
Is a clear request made?
There is no clear request made. This statement could mean several things and the speaker has not made it clear what he wants. Such a vague question could mean that the speaker would like to go bowling or maybe he's asking his friend to go bowling with him or he simply wants to know if his friend wants to bowl tonight. Remember that requests should be specific and focused on meeting the speaker's needs. A more direct and less confusing way to ask this request is, "I'd like to go bowling tonight. Would you like to go with me?"

2. Monica, would you please restock the storeroom soon?
The request is complete as it is..
Presence..
Positive Language..
Specificity.
What do you say?
This one is a little tricky. Because the speaker is not clear when soon is, we don't know whether she is talking in the present.
Another component missing: Specificity.
This request is not specific enough. What is soon? Tonight? Tomorrow? Next week? Specificity is very important because we all have different priorities and assumptions about things. I might think that soon is next week but the speaker thinks it means right now. Don't assume everyone operates on the same time table as you do. Such assumptions cause pain and confusion in relationships.

The very famous
Do you understand what I'm saying?
Action request or connection request?
It's a connection request . The speaker wants to know if the other person understood what he is saying. This could meet his need to be heard and understood. If he were making an action request he would be asking the other person to do something specific such as complete the report, or make an appointment for him.

What kind of request could someone make to meet his need to be heard?
What comes up for you when you hear this?.
Are you okay with what I said?.
Would you please tell me what you heard me say?

Would you please tell me what you heard me say?.
Is the Correct answer.
 It is such a relief to be fully heard. I believe that few of us have ever been truly and fully heard. Indeed, we have lived so many years without being heard, we don't even know what we've missed. Try this request a few times and I predict you will feel a longing for more!

So far so much
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

" Consulting a psychiatrist would be a question mark on my spirituality " Said the patient.

Hello everybody  I hope everybody is safe and healthy. it's been a while that I've been receiving lot of patients in the emergency with mental illness ,thought of sharing an incident of its kind. Not sure if its the awareness of mental health these days or the pandemic, I am developing keen interest in patients with mental illness .I try to take an extra effort to make them feel comfortable and try to create an insight of what is happening and offer them options of what all can be done.  Since this it seems like a step towards patient care , I thought I'd share it here as well. This would probably not be the best approach but I welcome any type of constructive criticism , additions or subtraction to my approach because end of the day we are here for best patient care. A 50 years plus old gentleman ,presented to the emergency with the complaints of chest pain radiating to left arm , breathing difficulty, choking sensation in the throat, inability to open his ey
18 comments
Read more

MRCEM OSCE preparation and resources

Hello people Since I have cleared my OSCE in one go, I feel it's my duty to journal what all I have done to make it work.(humble brag).Thanks to ChatGPT for helping me pile up some humble generic sentence to make this blog wholesome.(Just kidding). The MRCEM OSCE exam is an integral part of the qualification which tests the clinical and communication skills of candidates. For Indian students pursuing this qualification, preparing for the MRCEM OSCE exam may seem daunting. However, with a few tips that helped me sail through fine. The thing that helped me the most is acclimatizing myself to the UK Clinical Setting Before appearing for the MRCEM OSCE exam, it is imperative for Indian students to understand the clinical setting in the UK. Sometimes , all they want to see is how you behave , your body language, your tone , and your organising skills. Diagnosis is not a critical thing here. You will not fail if you get a wrong diagnosis provided that you have done it systematically. So
2 comments
Read more

Experience Based Co Design : BCT Series XXIX

  "Experience-Based Co-Design" we have all witnessed its essence unknowingly . My family home is the example I can reflect on .Growing up I didn't like how my house was designed. We (the whole extended family) wanted my dad to sell the house . Dad let his architect friend design our house and would not sell his house (for obvious reasons!). Mum had to balance out the situation so she decided to make small changes. So, it was one change idea each year .She would talk to us individually and listen to our perspective and review her sphere of influence and the impact /utility the idea had.For my siblings the colors were not welcoming while I pointed the flooring. Mum wanted the stairs to be personalised. My grandparents wanted certain conveniences around the toilets. It took her about 4-5 years to make the house a home that was acceptable . From color preferences to spatial arrangements, each family member contributed insights. The lovely thing about it was , the keystakehold
Post a Comment
Read more